I spent my formative years in a handful of small towns in East Texas. I am the oldest of three kids, and I’ve enjoyed staying close to my parents and two sweet sisters. In 2001, I came to Denton, Texas as a young, confused collegiate. It was at the University of North Texas that I met my lovely wife.
God has certainly been faithful to me, though much of my life has felt like a struggle. Before I trusted Christ to be Lord of my life, I exhausted myself trying to maintain two vastly different identities. One half appeared as an obedient church kid, while the other was trapped deep in sexual sin and self-hatred. I knew from Scripture the attributes of a godly man; yet, I was often identified by traits I hadn’t truly committed to. This caused me to feel confusion, anger and shame.
God opened my spiritual eyes to see how broken I was, while simultaneously allowing me to recognize how merciful and good He is (Lam. 3:22). While I was busy trying to earn His favor by cleaning the outside of the cup, God insisted that my inner secrets and struggles be made clean (Ps. 51:6-10).
God relieved me from the crushing burden of trying to earn His love. He revealed to me that even when I did not love Him, He still had love for me (Rom. 5:8). This moves me to want to follow and obey Him. Now when struggles come, He has made me able to trust that He is in control of all things and near to all who call on Him (Ps. 145:18).