I grew up knowing I was adopted. The beauty within being adopted was humbling and a point of gratefulness yet did not take away the tension of loss that was also wrapped within its reality. This played itself out in many ways within my life. In my family It meant always feeling confronted with the fear of abandonment. Within all other relationships it looked like always needing to do more in order to gain love and attention but never feeling like I could do/be enough. And in my racial identity, never knowing how people viewed me as I was biracial yet raised by a black family-but often labeled as other.
The dance between these tensions are what kept me from trusting in God for so much of my life. Even though my mother kept me in the church and rooted us in the Truth of the Gospel, the lies I allowed myself to believe kept me from submitting my life to our loving God. My view of God was as one of an earthly father, and because I knew what that looked like, in its imperfections and brokenness, it skewed my vision of the love, beauty, and union God truly desired for me with Him as a beloved daughter.
The transition into trusting God began slowly for me. Because I lived my life as if the tensions I faced labeled me to the world as broken, it led to unhealthy patterns in my life that exposed itself in rebellion. That rebellion then led me to many low points within my life and by the grace of God- ultimately led me to a point of surrender.
Surrendering my life to Christ freed me to be known and loved. It shattered my fears and took on the weight of all the tension I tried to carry on my own. It opened my eyes to a love that was not dependent on anything I could do or be. This love was unlike any id ever known. The love of God allowed me to finally see myself as a part of something much bigger than my circumstances.
As I look back over the life I’ve lived thus far I have joy knowing I can press on with hope in my heart knowing that the Lord has intentionally formed me as an adopted daughter. One that is redeemed, restored and received with open arms among The Body of Christ and the family here at The Village Church Denton. This welcome that Christ and the church has given me compels and leads me in wanting others to experience that same love and belonging.